


when the moment's right, i freeze

by Duck_Life



Category: X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Canon Gay Character, Character Study, Coming Out, Friendship/Love, Iceman Vol. 3 (2017), M/M, Referenced Suicide Attempt (Rictor), Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 14:11:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18740656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duck_Life/pseuds/Duck_Life
Summary: Bobby grows up, unaware of his adventures in the future until the right moment. Always there in the back of his mind is the fact that he's different, that he's not just a mutant but a gay mutant, and that's hard for him to reconcile.Bishop doesn't belong in this era, but he's there anyway.





	when the moment's right, i freeze

Being gay is shit in the sixties.

Jean was right, the memories don’t come back all at once. They leak through little by little, like the day Bobby’s walking outside with Warren and the sun hits his wings just right and it almost looks like they’re  _ made _ of light, and something twinges at the back of his mind. Or when they go up against Magneto and it feels wrong, like maybe they should be on the same side. 

It’s like trying to remember a dream. It comes back in fragmented pieces, like shards of glass cutting up his fragile perception of the world around him. 

The first time he kisses Zelda, another fragment comes hurling toward him and snaps neatly into place. Bobby babbles some excuse about homework and Xavier and goes racing home, doesn’t even realize where he’s going until he’s nudging open Jeannie’s door. 

“Hey,” he says, poking his head into her room. “Can we talk?”

Jean looks up from the book she’s reading. “I don’t know,” she says, smirking. “Can we?”

“Aw, you’re as bad as Hank,” he scowls, stepping into her room. She has a poster of  _ Forbidden Planet _ hanging in her room, as well as a ton of photographs of the five of them, all taped up along her walls. “So… I was with Zelda tonight.”

“Oh?” she says, her face lighting up. She scoots backward on her bed and points to a spot where he can sit. “Shall we gossip?”

“Well, it, um, it didn’t go so well,” he says, feeling his face heat up. For a guy who controls ice, he really can’t keep his cool. “She kissed me—”

“That sounds like it  _ did _ go well.”

“— and I didn’t like it.”

Jean tilts her head to the side. “Was it because she has a tongue piercing? Because Hank said she had a tongue piercing but I didn’t know if he was just making it up.” 

“No, no, I think…” Bobby says, sitting down on the foot of her bed. Jean’s looking at him with concern and her legs are crossed and she’s wearing jeans and a ratty sweater and he’s always been able to tell her anything, right? “I think I didn’t like it because she… was, y’know,  _ she _ .”

“Huh?”

“A girl.” Jean’s brow smooths out and she just looks at him, not reacting, not judging. “What if I don’t… like those?” His heart is hammering in his chest and he looks down to see that his hands have iced completely over. “I mean,” he goes on, “Warren and Hank are always talking about girls in town they’re into and Scott’s, y’know, head-over-heels in love with you, no offense, but you’ve always just been  _ Jeannie _ to me and I don’t get what the guys see in you, no offense, and I thought maybe it was just because you’re like my sister but it’s the same with Zelda and with every other girl, like, even when I was a kid, so.” He finally stops chattering and sucks in a huge gulp of air. 

“Bobby,” Jean says, once she’s sure he’s done talking, “you know I love you no matter what, right?” His face is some combination of relieved and terrified, and she pulls him into a tight hug. “It’s okay. I promise you, it’s okay.” 

 

When the protests start happening at that inn in Greenwich Village, Xavier tries to send the X-Men to help the police keep the peace. When they get there, though, the conflict has escalated into a full-on riot. Scott orders them to intervene and mediate, and Bobby watches Jean telekinetically protect a squad of police officers from being hit by the pennies and cobblestones the civilians are throwing.

He also watches a police officer club a woman over the head and knock her to the ground, and when he rushes forward to help her, the officer shoves him off, tells him there’s a reason they don’t want muties on the force. 

 

That’s the night Bobby realizes he only gets to be one. He can’t be gay  _ and _ a mutant. 

Hell, he can barely be a mutant. 

 

Lorna is beautiful and smart and kind, and it’s so easy to make believe that he can fall for her. 

 

He “loses” her to Alex, but if he’s being honest, he was only pretending to put up a fight. Alex and Lorna are messy, but it’s obvious that they’ve got something real. And whatever Bobby has with Lorna, it isn’t that. 

 

“Hey,” Bobby says, knocking on Rictor’s open door. “Can I come in?” 

Rictor glances up from the magazine he’s reading, shrugs. “I guess.” Bobby steps into the room and leans against the wall opposite the teen’s bed. “Sorry about, uh, all that stuff that happened with Infectia.”

“Pshh,” Bobby says, swatting away Ric’s concern. “We’ve seen worse than her. And besides, the Hankster is back to his brainy, blue self again, so. Everything shook out.” Rictor bobs his head, riffling the pages of his magazine. “Listen, I wanted to say… well, first of all, thank you. To you, Skids, Rusty, Boom-Boom… everything you did to protect me from Infectia? It means a lot. Jean, Scott and me, and Hank, we took you guys in to protect you. But when you turn around and protect us right back… well, it warms my icy cold heart,” he grins.

“Well, we weren’t gonna let you turn into a monster.”

“I appreciate it,” Bobby says. “I just… just wanted to make something clear.” Even though he’s got a handle on his powers again, his palms feel clammy and cold, almost ice. He’s 99 percent sure that this is an  _ important talk _ to have with this kid, he just needs to make sure he gets it right. “Infectia tricked me, got me to bring her back here because I really thought she wanted to see Ship. But I was never going to kiss her.”

Rictor snorts. “Are you kidding me? You bring back a lady lookin’ like that?” He laughs, but keeps fidgeting with the magazine in his hands. “It’s okay, Iceman. You don’t have to act noble or nothin’. We get it, all us kids.”

“I don’t think you do,” Bobby says. “I, uh. I wouldn’t have kissed her.” There’s a lot of ways to say it, but he might as well just stick to the classic one. “Because I’m gay.” 

Rictor’s not exactly gaping, but he looks kind of dumbstruck. “Oh,” he says. Several different expressions flit across his face, and Bobby braces himself to hear any of the old standbys—  _ Fruit, fairy, flamer, girly-man _ . But Rictor just shrugs. “Well, I… I guess Infectia picked the wrong mark then.”

“Definitely,” Bobby smiles. “Now, if she’s got a hot brother named ‘Infectio,’ we’re in trouble.” Rictor laughs, the uneasiness and surprise melting off his shoulders. “Anyway, I just, uh. I mean, it just hadn’t really come up yet. But I figured you should know, after today.”

“Right,” Rictor says. “Yeah, I’m… I’m glad you told me.” There’s a look in his eyes there, and it takes Bobby a second to recognize it but then he gets it. It’s the same look Artie and Leech have when they’re looking at Beast or Nightcrawler, realizing that you can grow up and look weird and have it be okay. 

“Sure thing,” Bobby says, shooting finger guns at him. “I’ll see you later, Ric.”

“Yeah,” Rictor says as Bobby walks out, letting the door swing just halfway shut behind him. “See you.”

  
  


Opal Tanaka makes him think that he might actually be able to put everything away. 

Being with her is easy, almost as easy as hanging out with Jean. She is kind and smart and funny, and it’s easier to see himself with her than it ever was with Lorna. Maybe it’s because she’s not a mutant. Maybe, after everything that’s happened with Jean and Warren in their time on X-Factor, he needs a little normal in his life.

Of course, ultimately, Opal’s life turns out to be a lot less normal than he originally thought. Between her grandfather and Hiro and the Cyburai, there’s so much going on that Bobby doesn’t even have time anymore to doubt himself.

He’s always so focused on trying to help Opal run away from cybernetic assailants that he doesn’t have to worry about getting too close. He doesn’t have to worry about whether she’s expecting an “I love you” or a ring or anything. He brings her home to meet his parents and he smiles through gritted teeth. 

  
  


When Bishop first joins the X-Men, a lot of the others are a little uneasy around him. Gambit especially so. He and Bishop have a lot of tense confrontations before they seem to finally figure out how to navigate the X-Mansion without ever crossing paths. Rogue and Storm get along okay with Bishop. 

Bishop feels like a puzzle to Bobby. Every now and then, they’ll get wrapped up in a conversation about the ethics of time travel or mutant politics or mathematical paradoxes, and Bishop will say something completely baffling and then walk away like what he said was completely normal. 

It’s driving Bobby crazy. That… and the way that, every now and then, he’ll look across a room and meet Bishop’s gaze. And every time it feels like he can’t breathe. 

  
  
  


“Where should I put this?” Bishop asks, looking at Bobby over the top of the microwave box he’s carrying. Once all of Scott and Jean’s wedding guests filed out and the happy couple left for their honeymoon, Bishop and Bobby had taken charge of hauling all the wedding gifts down to the boat house— Mr. and Mrs. Summers’ new home. 

“Kitchen counter,” Bobby tells him, sticking Scott and Jean’s new waffle maker in a cabinet. 

Bishop sets the microwave down. “The wedding was… fun,” he says. He sounds like he’s not used to saying that word. “Though, I have to admit… I considered asking you to dance.”

“I— what?” Bobby says, choking on air. “You did?”

“I did,” Bishop confirms. 

“B— um, well. I mean… everyone was there,” Bobby says. For all his icy abilities, his face is hotter than the surface of the sun right now. “Everybody was watching.”

“Mm,” Bishop nods. He looks around the dusty old boat house. Once Jean and Scott get back, they’re going to turn this place into a cozy little home for the two of them. Right now, it’s just a dark room with a card table and some chairs, and moonlight spilling in through the window. “There’s no one watching now,” Bishop points out.

“Huh. How about that.” Bobby swallows. Bishop is closer than he was a minute ago. 

“Drake,” Bishop says, inclining his head and extending his hand, “may I have this dance?”

This could end badly. This could end so, so badly, but right now Bobby doesn’t care. “Sure, man,” he says, taking Bishop’s hand. 

There’s not even any music but it doesn’t matter. Bishop dances as well as he fights, leading Bobby across the floor, and the old boat house becomes a ballroom for just a few minutes. 

  
  
  
  


When Bobby hits the road with Rogue, he doesn't have any idea where they're going. Just—  _ away _ . And away is where he needs to be right now. 

Before Bishop disappeared into the timestream to stop Legion, he'd come to say goodbye. He'd said, " _ I hope I don't get stranded in the past." _

And Bobby had said, " _ Aren't you already stranded in the past?" _

Bishop had reached up and held his face in his hands, so softly, and said, " _ It doesn't feel like being stranded. Not with you."  _ Then Bishop had said goodbye and left. 

Blah blah, M'Kraan wave, blah blah, time paradox, blah blah, running away with Rogue. It’s obvious that she doesn’t want to talk about her shit, which gives him a good excuse not to talk about his. 

Somehow, he and Rogue make it all the way to Idaho before bringing up anything heavy. The radio is cutting in and out of some staticky country song, and Rogue has run out of billboards to comment on so she says, “I’m sorry about Opal.”

He coughs. “Opal… ? We broke up ages ago.”

“Oh,” she says. “I just… well, you…”

“What?”

“You’re not just out here with me because you’re a good friend,” she says. 

Bobby folds his arms and glares out the window. She won’t even tell him where they’re going. Why does he have to tell her a damn thing? “Maybe I am,” he says. “Maybe I’m just a really, really good friend.” 

Rogue snorts. “Popsicle, you an’ me are in a lifeboat,” she says. “And I know why I jumped ship. So why did you?”

“You first.” 

“I  _ asked _ you first,” she argues. They drive past yet another cornfield. “Okay, how about this? Yes and no questions only.”

“Sounds fair,” Bobby says. “Are you running away because of Gambit?”

Her hands tighten on the wheel. “Yes.” It’s her turn now. “Are  _ you _ out here because of a girl?”

He messes with the air conditioner to hide his nerves. “... No.” Outside the car windows, corn stretches as far as the eye can see. “Did Gambit say something to you that upset you?”

“No,” Rogue says. She takes awhile coming up with her next question, and the whole time, Bobby feels all his own doubt and anxiety curdling in his gut. Finally, Rogue says, “If you’re not out here because of a girl… are you out here because of a guy?” 

He stares out the window, chin in his hand, thinking idly about how he could use the moisture from the air conditioner to create an ice slide, and he could crack open the door and slide out of the car and just lie there on the side of the road amongst the weeds and the cornstalks. 

“Yeah,” he says. 

He’s not looking at her, so he’s surprised when he feels her gloved hand grab his own hand and squeeze. 

  
  
  


"How do you do it?" Bobby asks, his voice hitching. He hates how desperate and scared and confused he sounds, wishes he could come off as cool as the ice that he creates. But Bishop has never seen him as cool, and it's not like that's about to change now. "How do you handle being… being gay  _ and _ a mutant?"

Bishop watches him with a carefully measured look. "The same way I handle being Black and a mutant," he says. "The same way you handle being Jewish and a mutant. Bobby, we're all… we're all made up of these identities and… and they're  _ part  _ of who we are but they're not the whole part."

"I just… I just can't…" Bobby sighs and flops back in the big library armchair, covering his face with his hands. He kind of wishes Bishop would just go away, but that's also the last thing he wants.

 

It’s what he gets, eventually.    
  
  


When Annie Ghazikhanian accuses him of being homophobic, it’s like his mind turns inside out. Stupidly, he’s as worried about her thinking he’s gay as he is about her thinking he’s homophobic. They hook up, and it’s a mistake, and Lorna tries to kill him the next day, anyway, in her rampage to get to Alex and Annie. 

Bobby’s starting to think that he just based his whole theoretical attraction to women on Scott’s brother’s. 

  
  


He's in Jean-Paul's apartment— in Jean-Paul's  _ bed _ — limbs loose and relaxed. That famous Northstar speed really is something else. Sex with Jean-Paul is like a roller coaster, and it always leaves Bobby breathless. 

"So," Jean-Paul sighs, rolling on his side to face Bobby. "You want to tell me about him?"

_ Huh _ ? "Him who?"

Jean-Paul sighs again. "Ice— look, you're adorable. I've been crushing on you for for _ ever  _ and a big part of me is kicking myself in the ass for even saying anything, but… I can tell when a guy I'm sleeping with has his mind on someone else."

"What? No, no there's not… I don't have my mind on someone else." Bobby tugs the sheets higher up his chest.

Jean-Paul looks kind of amused but also kind of sad. "Yeah, okay," he says sarcastically. "It's not Pietro, is it?"

" _ What _ ?"

"Because I do have a competitive streak when it comes to speed and, well, if it's  _ another _ speedster I  _ will  _ become very moody." 

"No, it isn't Pietro."

Jean-Paul smirks. "But there  _ is  _ someone."

Dammit. "Yeah, fine, whatever." Bobby kind of wishes he could just dissolve. "You're right, okay? You win."

"You'll excuse me for not jumping for joy."

"Jeez, JP…" Bobby says. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, I—"

"Shh, it's okay," Jean-Paul says kindly, running a hand through his hair. "It's okay, Bobby. I mean, it kind of sucks, but… I get it. I get it."

They're friends after that, he and Jean-Paul. Well, sort of friends. They hook up one more time after that conversation, and then not long after that, Jean-Paul dies and Bobby just feels more isolated than ever.

  
  


He’s out to enough people now that he feels painfully transparent when he starts dating Lorna again. Of course, it’s not like anyone who knows his secret is going to say anything— Jean’s dead, Jean-Paul’s dead, Rogue’s got enough of her own shit going on and Rictor… Bobby sees a news program about Rictor’s almost-suicide, sees the footage of the former X-Factor ward standing on a ledge in Mutant Town. 

He  _ knows _ that whatever’s going on with Rictor has shit-all to do with him, but he can’t help thinking that if he’d maybe been a better mentor, if he’d had his own shit together at any point, maybe Rictor would be better adjusted. 

 

Lorna leaves him for Alex again and it barely even registers. 

Jean-Paul comes back to life. Jean stays dead.

Bishop tries to kill a child.

The entire world goes absolutely nuts while Bobby is standing still. 

  
  


Bobby watches Jean-Paul get married, with all the X-Men there and everything, and he still can’t face the prospect of telling anybody. He finds out that Rictor has a serious boyfriend, and still he can’t do it. He’s starting to think that he’ll never be able to live his damn life without shying away from it. 

Jeannie was the one person he really felt he could tell absolutely  _ anything _ to, and she’s gone. Rictor, Jean-Paul, Rogue and Bishop know, but they’d never tell anybody. And at this rate, he’s never going to tell anybody himself, just keep throwing himself into dead-end relationships with women like Kitty, who really doesn’t deserve him using her to cover up what he’s too afraid to admit. 

 

It’s the end of the world again, and this time it’s all Bobby’s fault.

_ Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice _ . That’s from a Robert Frost poem. Hank used to call him “Robert Frost,” used to joke with him. 

No one will joke with him ever again. 

No one will overlook him, will look  _ through _ him without seeing who he is. And who he is, it doesn’t have to scare him anymore. He doesn’t have to juggle being a mutant with being Jewish or Catholic or gay or depressed or anxious. 

This can be all he is now.

Iceman, and nothing else. 

 

It is so, so much easier to show everyone the worst of him than it is to let anyone see the rest. 

  
  


Kitty and Opal— and Raven, of all people— save the world. 

But Bobby doesn’t know what to do with himself after everything he did, after the Apocalypse seed. He ghosts through the mansion and spends his days moping on top of the roof. Kitty and the rest of them saved the world, but Jean-Paul is the one who saves  _ him _ .

Jean-Paul refuses to let him be miserable. He swoops down and convinces Bobby to rejoin the world. “There’s something I need you to do for me,” he says. 

“What?”

“Be my friend.”*

 

It’s not like everything is perfect, but at least Bobby’s not actively freezing out his friends. No, this time it’s Scott’s turn. His mutant revolution is turning old friends into bitter enemies, and Bobby’s really, really fucking tired of fighting his friends. 

And then he says something really, really stupid to Hank. They’re talking about Scott— which, these days, that’s just about all they talk about. And Bobby says, “The Scott we grew up with— he would  _ hate _ this.”** 

 

Hank takes the idea and runs with it, and that’s how everything kind of sort of falls apart. 

 

Kitty is the one who calls him. 

She starts out rambling on about alternate timelines and alternate futures, and at first he thinks she's literally calling to tell him that another M'Kraan wave is coming or something. But then she starts talking about a particular alternate timeline she knows about where Piotr is actually gay. 

"Uh…" Bobby says. Even though  _ she  _ called  _ him _ , he feels like he's intruding. "Kitty, should you maybe be talking to Pete about this?"

"What? No, it's not about him, not actually," she says. "It's about you. The younger you, the time displaced one."

Bobby groans. "What did that jackass do now?"

"Nothing, nothing," she assures him. He can't remember a time he heard Kitty sound this nervous. She's not typically one to dance around issues like this. "It's just… well, Jean, she's not great at boundaries. She saw something in his head and… and she confronted him about it, and now it's out in the open  _ here  _ and I just… I wanted you to hear it from a friend first." 

While he's still confused on the surface level, deep down he has a horrifying feeling that he knows what this is about. "Well, spit it out, Pryde," he says, and everything about his light, upbeat tone is artificial.

"He's gay."

There it is. 

In a few short weeks, that time-displaced jerk has hung out to dry everything Bobby's spent a lifetime concealing. 

"That's, um," he mumbles. The room spins. "That's—"

"Bobby,  _ obviously _ it doesn't mean anything about you." Obviously. Right. "When Henry took these kids out of the past, he changed  _ everything _ . They aren't the same people. So… look, I just wanted you to know because it's probably going to get around. But it's… just because he's gay doesn't mean you are, too. Right?"

That anxious little  _ Right?  _ at the end sends a surge of annoyance through him. She wants to know that she didn't date a gay guy. 

Or maybe she's genuinely just being a good friend. He's so frantic and pissed off right now that he can't tell the difference.

"Yeah. Right," he says. "Look, Kitty, I've got… I've got stuff I need to do. Thank you for calling me. I mean, thanks for the heads-up. Really."

"Of course," she says. "Listen, if you ever need anything—" 

He hangs up. 

 

Of course, not long after that, it’s the end of the world again. And baby Jean and baby Bobby pay him a visit. His younger self tells him what he already knows— he’s gay, they’re both gay, and he’s not going to be quiet about it. 

Bobby puts on a brave face for the two of them, jokes and jibes and gets a “mental hug” from Jeannie, and then he sends them on their way so he can quietly have an emotional breakdown. 

 

He doesn’t even get the out he was counting on, because the world just gets saved again. Fucking Molecule Man. Somehow, Bobby winds up on a team with Anole, and he looks at it as a way to be the gay mentor he wanted to have been to Rictor way back when. Better late than never, right? 

 

Bishop comes back into his life again, once more on the side of the angels. Which is  _ good _ , really, but it’s confusing, too. He’s been through a lot, with the Demon Bear and then the Shadow King, and Bobby feels like they’ve both been through so much he wouldn’t even know what to say if they spent time together. 

Too many times, he picks up his phone and tries to send Bishop a text. He just keeps chickening out and scrolling through Twitter, putting off what he doesn’t know how to do. 

  
  


And then there’s Judah. 

Finding Judah Miller is like finally getting the prize in your cereal box after years and years of pouring out bowl after bowl. It’s like finally confronting the monster in your closet and realizing that all this time it was just your own shadow. 

He has a  _ boyfriend _ . Not a friend-with-benefits he keeps under wraps, not a girlfriend he has to pretend in front of, not whatever the hell Lucas Bishop was. A  _ boyfriend _ , real and solid. Someone he can kiss in the dark and in the daytime and in front of everyone. Someone he can, maybe, build a future with. He even considers moving to Los Angeles. 

It’s a little stupid, maybe, but he goes and tells Jean about it. His Jean, the real Jean. Her grave. “His name’s Judah,” he says, opening up a bag of M&Ms and pouring them on the ground at her headstone. Other people bring flowers— there’s actually a bouquet there right now, probably from Rachel or Scott— but he brings her M&Ms. “He’s amazing, Jeannie. I wish you could meet him. He’s so…  _ normal _ . I-in the best possible way.” 

 

Of course, normal comes with a price. 

When Daken attacks the school, Judah is vulnerable. He almost dies. It’s enough of a wake-up call for him to realize that, while he’ll always be there if Bobby needs him… he can’t be there like that, not as a boyfriend. 

 

Bobby has heard the phrase, “It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” What he had with Judah… he probably can’t call it love, not really, but it was…  _ something.  _ Maybe the closest he’s gotten.  _ It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all _ . 

He never got that before. Before, women would blow into his life and blow back out, and he’d feel like the whole thing was a colossal waste of time. But finding Judah, and losing Judah… it’s like he finally, finally  _ gets it _ . 

 

Jean comes back, just like everybody knew she would. The world tilts a little bit more into focus. 

 

Bobby dances with Rogue at her wedding, tripping over his own feet a little but mostly managing to stick to a rhythm. "Can I make an observation?" she says, twining her hands behind his neck. "As someone who has been your friend for many years, and as someone who's literally had your psyche crammed inside my head?" 

"Sure," he says. 

"You're in love with Bishop."

He scowls. " _ You're  _ in love with Bishop!"

"... What?"

"Okay, that didn't make sense," he grumbles. 

Rogue laughs. "Look, I'm just… Maybe being a bride has me in a lovey-dovey mood right now. But I  _ did  _ just take your biggest competition off the market." Bobby's eyes widen. "I know you have feelings for him. So do somethin' about it. That can be your wedding gift to me, seein' as you didn't actually get me anything."

"Alright, hang on, you didn't even know you were gonna get married til like two hours ago," he points out while she laughs. "You want the waffle iron I got for Pete and Kitty? You can have that."

Rogue glances across the room at Bishop. "I just want you to be happy, Bobby," she says. "That's what I want." 

"What if… what if I mess it up?" he says, sounding pitiful even to his own ears. But Rogue just smiles.

"Sugar, you know how many times Remy and I had to mess it up before we got to today?" she says. "It's okay. No matter what happens, it'll be okay."

  
  


If Bobby were the type of guy to take every piece of good advice he received, he’d probably he a lot better adjusted than he is now. 

He doesn’t talk to Bishop the night of the wedding, doesn’t even try. Instead, he gets sloppy drunk and hooks up with Simon Lasker, and regrets it immediately the next morning. Fortunately, Rachel Grey is in crisis and he doesn’t have to spend too much time thinking about Simon.

 

Rachel’s crisis turns into, like, three crises and the stakes just keep getting higher. Apparently, the younger Bobby is going to die if they don’t send all the time-displaced X-punks back where they came from. 

 

As much as he hated the fact that his younger self was here in the present, sending that kid back is the hardest thing Bobby's ever had to do. Knowing the kind of life he's led, knowing what he's sending that kid back to. 

But it's a choice. Let the kid grow up and die young here… or send him right back to the sixties. 

Baby Bobby goes back home, and moments later, all of his memories show up in Bobby's head, like a treasure trove has been unlocked. 

And suddenly, Bobby doesn't feel so bad anymore. He sent himself back in time but now, now he knows what it was like— to be a teenager in this day and age, to fall in love with a boy at 16, to have a first kiss that isn't with Zelda Kurtzberg. 

He gets a little piece of a life he didn't get the first time around. 

 

The Romeo issue is weird, to say the least. Bobby remembers him, remembers everything about him. He still remembers being an adult and coaching his younger self through texting the Inhuman, but he also remembers being a teenager. All those feelings, that spark, the dates they went on. 

Of course, that's also coupled with the knowledge that Romeo is  _ still  _ a teenager and it feels gross to call him an ex-boyfriend when he's a literal kid. 

Fucking time travel. 

  
  
  
  


The thing with Bishop was that the timing was never right, which is kind of funny, considering who he is. 

 

"I'm proud of you," Bishop says suddenly while they're sloshing around in the sewers.

"What?" Bobby says, squinting at him in the darkness. "For what?"

"I heard about what happened with the Young You," Bishop explains. "He came out so you kind of had to."

"Oh."

"That can't have been easy," Bishop continues. It should have been on your own terms. It should always be on your own terms." 

"Yeah, well," Bobby shrugs, not sure what to say to that. It happened. It's done. 

"But you seem to have made the most of it," Bishop says. "I'm really happy for you."

"Uh… thanks," Bobby says. "Hey, what about you? It's been ages, I mean. What's new with you? Are you seeing anyone?"

Bishop laughs humorlessly. "Kind of trying to get my good name back, first."

Right. It wasn't so long ago that Bobby nearly started the second Ice Age, so he kind of gets it. "Well," he starts out, not even sure what he's going to say. 

He doesn't get a chance to say it, because that's when they find the Morlock body. 

 

The whole mess with Mr. Sinister is a drag, but it also gives Bobby a bunch of excuses to spend time with Bishop. He keeps trying to say something, to bring up all these twisted up, knotted emotions he’s had rolling around for years, and something keeps getting in the way— Christian Frost, Mutant Pride parades, his older ice wizard self. 

 

After his birthday, Bobby finally gets a chance to talk to Bishop without any interruptions— and without any misgivings. 

"I don't know what the hell I'm doing," Bobby admits. "But I know I'm doing it a lot better than I was when we first met. So… Bishop—  _ Lucas _ … do you want to go on a date? Uh, with me, I mean."

"Did it ever occur to you that I don't know what the hell I'm doing, either?" Bishop says. "I used to think that we could figure it out  _ together _ . But you didn't want that, and… and that was your choice." He doesn’t sound angry, more… resigned. 

"It was," Bobby acknowledges. "It  _ was _ my choice. But this is my choice now. I want to try… to figure it out together."

"This isn't something that I can teach you."

"I know that."

Bishop sighs. "It's not like I have all this experience, you know. I've… I've had two boyfriends, ever."

"I've also had two boyfriends, ever," Bobby says, thinking of Judah and of Romeo. 

"Okay."

"Okay."

Slowly, Bishop smiles. "Then I guess we're on the same page."

 

You can’t control time, except when you can. You can’t go back in time, and you can’t travel to the future— except when you can. And if time travel were truly impossible, Bobby might still be white-knuckling his way through a date with some woman he met in Greenwich Village. If time travel were impossible, Bishop would still be fighting tooth and nail to protect a pretty shitty future. 

 

So, yeah, time travel tends to fuck everything up. But when it works? When everything works out? 

It’s kind of wonderful.    
  


**Author's Note:**

> * Dialogue from Astonishing X-men #68.
> 
> ** Dialogue from All-New X-men #1.


End file.
